Jokes about Marriage and Married Life II

If you are married please ignore this message, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day!
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!